I have some very exciting news! We have evolved due to my new book ‘Ravishing,’ being released this month.
I will be communicating through my new website, where you can hear updated interviews, watch videos and stay connected.
Website address: Hannahbryant.com
Instagram Account:@Ravishingcollective
(This is a secret BUT to launch the new Instagram account I’ll be giving away a few copies of my book in the very near future!)
If you miss out, don’t despair, you’re welcome to purchase the book through Hannahbryant.com or Koorong.com
God is so great and doing the past few years with this community has helped inspired me to write this book-Thank you guys. Your quiet emails of sharing your heart and digging deeper into God has been a huge encouragement-Would honestly love to stay connected with each one of you as you’be played a beautiful part to the story!
Let’s keep continuing this grace journey together…
It was the morning I had received an email from a man who had typed words stating that “He can no longer pray for me. He didn’t support my position next to my husband and therefore, was withdrawing his petitions on my behalf, to God.” I had nothing to say. Later that day, I found myself on the phone speaking to a trusted friend, you see prior to receiving that email, I had been suffering with the ‘vulnerability hangover’ (thanks Brene Brown) due to the book I have written which has been proposed to be released next year.
“I don’t think I can actually go through with it.” The words came out like a pile of mess, which had been tormenting me since having a meeting with the publishing house.”It’s just so honest and people can be so cruel. I know this far too well as I have the battle scars to prove it.” There was silence for a moment “And most of that criticism and ridicule has come from people who vow to love God.” My words were tangled in confusion, but out of my heart and into the head of someone else bringing a sense of relief. We chatted about this for a little while longer, I hung up the phone feeling a tad more courageous, because a good friend will instill truth to her mate, so she remains and walks out, the calling on her life-regardless of the ask.
It had dawned on me when I hung up the phone, that I had made this more about me, then about God. I don’t have a reputation to uphold, but I do have a story, like you, that can testify to grace and relentless love. I could live in the judgement of others by staying caged in their opinions, or I could use the opportunity to reach out and help another along the way, I silently thought to myself.
However that requires courage, divine courage that will strengthen any servant girl to pursue the call on her life. For when we are found in him, then we are found in love and when we are found in heavenly love, then we immerse ourselves in freedom. Perspective changes and lives can reach their full potential, because it’s about God and not about our self.
God imparts conviction, we get lost in distraction.
For distraction wraps itself in deception and deception is filled with lies. So we can find our self in a waging war, the enemy begging us for his attention. And it’s easy to go off course- it’s generally done subtly, we swallow one lie, digest it before we believe another one. And before we know it, we can be paralyzed in fear with a head full of noise and clutter, leaving us with only one choice.
Do we stay captive, or do we cling to the promises of God so we have fresh hope?
Isn’t each day about living in the choices we make?
So here was I, in a mind-set, that begged me to make a decision, because I was loosing my footing, but I know that I’m not a girl to go down without a fight.
It was time to rise and become a warrior for kingdom matters.
You too, have choices to make.
You see servant girl, the truth is, the enemy despises the call on your life. He know’s that you have purpose and a destiny that will build God’s kingdom, so he will press the buttons in your life that will make you self-doubt and self loathe who you are, because that will grab your attention and keep it.
And who can be proactive and others focused when our attention in on our self?
If you, like me, have been caught in a battle, then I am here to tell you, that it’s time to have victory. For you are worth far more than the silent lies that have been fed to your mind, but you must gain control over your thoughts and your desire for change, must be greater than the apathy which is keeping you stagnant.
So will you join me in rising up, will find the audacity and strength to keep on keeping on?
For you have been fashioned with intention, gifts, talents and desires for such a time as this.
Stay the course friend, cling to Jesus and walk into your ordained days with grace, strength and boldness.
The type of feeling where you just don’t.quite.fit.in?
Oh, it may only be one degree of separation from those surrounding you, but that tearing is just enough to make you want to become invisible at times. A nagging feeling fills the pit of your stomach causing angst, you try to ignore the pull which brings you down…even if it’s just a little bit, but it lingers.
You might be in a room filled with people who you’ve known you’re whole life, yet the truth be known, they are strangers to you and you to them.
Or you hold the attention of those around you in social settings, oozing confidence, yet if you’re truthful, you’re the loneliest woman standing in front of others who would never suspect.
Misplaced.
The lack of finding a home, a tribe, where you identify with others and they identify with you.
There are barriers, some you can’t express or put language to, as they are unintentional and others you have built which are blind spots in your life and work as a repellant towards those who attempt to connect with you. They barb and spike people and send them retreating quietly but quickly.
The girl who is willing to look at her blind spots by getting on her knees and asking God to reveal them, is the girl who reflects great courage and strength.
And if you’re really honest, you might fess up to being the servant girl who deliberately places a wedge between yourself and friends, as you use distance to protect your heart. You hate the thought of being displaced but what scares you even more… is to be deeply known by someone.
This breeds a cycle which spins around and around which contributes and heightens your feelings of not belonging, but isn’t that safer then being known?
For being known, seen and loved by another, runs at a risk of being hurt, for revealing your heart requires authenticity, and authenticity demands truth. And who in the world really wants to be truthful?
So you submit to fear and the enemy who brings it to you, permitting the lies to swirl around your mind, you listen to the snickers and believe the quiet whisper’s. You swallow the deceit like a pill which is digested deep within, and what we allow to be planted in our lives is manifested through thinking, behaviour and actions -it’s an outpouring.
You hear the word ‘courage’ and believe it’s for everyone else,
You hear about being ‘valued’ yet that’s for the girl next door,
You hear stories of others having their hearts healed, but that’s not for you, surely not?
Yet the truth is, you have been formed for relationship, connection and a joyous life.
Isn’t that why Jesus left the heavens and came to earth?
Isn’t that what Christianity is built on?
Relationship.
So I beg you friend, if you, like me, have felt displaced, than I pray, that you have the courage of a lion to rise and face the demons which keep you chained up, to rebuke the fear which wants to settle in your life, to smash the walls which keep you caged, to call out to the God of the Universe who leans in and hears the cries of his daughters, and live in friendships that are full of joy and satisfy the innate and very real feeling of needing a place to seen, heard, known and loved.
Now I know you can see my tummy in this shot, but what I wanted to highlight were those little hands reaching up on the Pastor I call Husband. You see we are pretty organic around here and often have it all a little chaotic as we minister due to having three beautiful, but energetic children. So today as I speak out my first podcast, I ask for your grace as its ‘homey’ but I don’t want the striving for perfection to hinder me from blessing you! So welcome to my kitchen and my crazy home! Press the link and I pray that God meets you right…now!
I saw bravery last week when a set of blue eyes looked deep into mine, gazed straight at me and without a word spoke a million. Life had caused a harsh blow and winded my friend Alice, bruised her soul and made the world she lived in a little dimmer. Her pain ran deep, so deep that the gush she nurtured bled liquid red -her heart was in ruins. The debris scattered and she was madly trying to put the pieces back together believing that order would alleviate her pain. Yet part of her was angry, infuriated actually, as she felt her prayers had fallen on a deaf God when she had pleaded “No” and He said “Yes.”
Ever experienced that? Faced the opposite to what your prayers had uttered in the black of night?
Time has been spent begging for the complete opposite to what life is throwing you and you feel like you’re in quick sand, sinking at a rapid speed.
Fear not Servant Girl.
So what do you do when you feel like your expectations haven’t been met by God?
When you feel like the world is caving in and the darkness seems a little overbearing?
When your load is about to break you?
I’ve been there you know, in the place where you feel abandoned rather than embraced by the God of the Universe. Had thoughts that my ways were better than His, but that on reflection, is me living in a place of fear.
For when I abandon trust, I choose to pick up fear.
It takes courage to admit that, the same courage I saw in Alice. You see she had to place down her niceties next to the mask she admitted to wearing which was hiding the ‘real’ her as we sipped our lattes.
And I must admit, I’m as guilty as charged too, as wearing my mask is much easier at times, as it hides my ugly stories and the state of my heart. It protects me from the potential reaction I could receive if someone actually knew what I really thought or have really done or what I’m struggling with.
Another place where fear can slide in and settle…
So barriers stay erected as they are safe and life becomes predictable-easier really, but does that mean I’m allowing the potential judgement of others to imprison the person I actually am? Because what I’m saying, is that I’m more concerned about what they think, then the truth of my situation.
Vulnerability is for the brave hearted…
It is for the servant girl who wants to say “No” to hiding and “Yes” to showing her authentic self.
It’s for the woman who is willing to embrace who she is -warts and all, but she’s even stronger when she is willing to make changes to the warts so they live in her no longer.
You see God can start working on a heart that is willing to change, but a heart of stone, well who can reshape that?
My friend, when life is howling and your boat is on a rocky ocean and you feel one more wave will break you, fear not, for even in a raging storm peace can be felt.
When life has been unpredictable and the pain is raw and real, fall, fall, at the feet of Jesus and receive peace. Grab a hold of Him with both hands and relentlessly pursue His ways and trust, breathe deep and commit to the decision, regardless of the outcome.
For where trust lives, fear does not…
He sees you and He won’t let go- You’re far too loved for that.
Cling to Him with all your might and believe that you have not been forgotten, abandoned or left behind-for you are His precious daughter, His Servant Girl who can have her situation turned from hopeless to hope filled, regardless of where the journey takes you…
I walked towards the gate of Sunny’s new school this morning, behind the bars was an enclosed area for children to sit. My eyes found four children in wheelchairs. One little boy dangled bare feet from his chair, while another had his eyes closed and dribbled quietly in the corner of the school yard.
I gulped, took a breath, this is now where my boy ‘belongs.’ I had a revelation in that moment, in the moment I shut the gate behind me. The severity of Sunny’s disability is worse than I thought. I heard a conversation in my head replay itself. “He can’t go to the local school, it doesn’t accommodate for his needs-this school will be a better match.”
I felt my eyes prick with tears and my heart cracked just a little bit more. I cleared my throat and saw a teacher, introduced myself and felt my chin quiver. I could barely speak, “This is Sunny and it’s his first day here.” The warm, smiling face directed us to his classroom. I felt his hand touch mine, as he became scared, a child was walking towards us screaming, another was wearing ear phones to keep the noise of the world out. I try to still the noise in my head. “Hold it together Hannah. Hold.It.Together.”
I slide the glass door open to find his teacher calming more crying children in the classroom. I hung up Sunny’s bag, pulled diapers out and placed them on his desk and then put his lunch in the fridge. I stood wide-eyed and looking around, doing my best to ooze positivity. A short amount of time passes and I knew it was inevitable, I must leave for the day.
I found my car, placed keys in the ignition and turned it on. I can’t hold it in, I break, sob silently.
I feel plain sad.
My grief caught me and took my breath away. I actually tried to stop the tears, as it was the first day that I was actually wearing make up, and of course it was now down my cheeks. “Typical” I think to myself- my sense of humour stops me from weeping for a moment.
Ever had an expectation that never quite came off?
Before Sunny was born, I thought he’d be ‘normal and healthy.’ The reality is, he’s six, wears diapers full-time, can’t have a proper conversation with me, has melt downs constantly in public where I would like to tell people to “Please stop staring as we are not a circus” and my life, my family’s life is strained daily.
Would I change him, not for one second, can I be human and have a real moment? Absolutely!
Can you relate?
Ever had a picture in your head, of what the future would look like and it’s very different to the reality that you’re living in today?
Marriage, that man who you promised forever to has crushed your heart, robbed you of the dreams you carried as you walked down the aisle towards him. You remember you were smiling big, filled with passion and excitement for life and your future together. Yet, here you are today, in your quiet thoughts which are filled with disappointment and hurt for the way it’s all worked out. You nurse the daily feeling of abandonment which has destroyed your worth. You find yourself laying in bed at night, alone and isolated blinking into darkness as you stare at the ceiling trying to figure out just went wrong.
The job, that was going to satisfy your thirst, actually keeps you wanting for more, as you can’t believe that this is actually it-the hard work, you’re at the top, yet there’s a desire, a pining for something greater.
The house, the clothes, the money, the figure, the botox, the boat, the babies,the whatever it is, still requires you to ask the question “Is this it?”
There’s a hole, it’s empty and begging to be filled, you scramble, I scramble, What can fill it? Who can fill it? How much does it cost to fill it?
Where can I find that deep peace and have it living in me regardless of circumstance and situation?
I emailed a friend this week, told her that when I’m living with my cup half empty, then my peace is stolen, I become overwhelmed, use words that sting, sigh a lot, roll my eyes and see the world as all too hard. So what I’ve learnt, is my cup half empty, actually equates to me not centring myself on God. I forget that he can steady my shaking world, calm my soul when its wild like the ocean and fill the hole which makes me whole.
When my eyes are up, then life can throw whatever it likes at me. My scrambling for something more ceases, and I find my heart is strengthened. My situation that seems hopeless has hope and I can smile with certainty at my future.
So this week, this month, this year, is to keep my cup half full and never half empty, because God only intends for us to live life to its fullest which actually doesn’t create a cup half full at all, it actually makes our cup over flowing and brimming and that’s the type of life I desire.
Do you?
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He got invited over for a play date yesterday. It’s the seventh time a family has opened their door and hearts to him-ever. The last time was in Canada with friends who saw his disability and loved him regardless- didn’t shy away from his difference, but embraced it and learnt from a little boy of few words.
They, like my mate yesterday, who told me “that its fine and everything will be okay,” understood that he doesn’t speak very well and still wears diapers, and yes, there was the potential of them needing to change him, but they were willing to roll up their sleeves and serve. To get their hands dirty and love beyond themselves.
And isn’t that what it takes to love someone?
The willingness to act with humility and go to the places which require us to surrender our desires, to think of our self less, in order to put another person first.
To open the eyes of our heart and see, really see, and make the decision to act upon that need.
To die to self, which requires sacrifice and willingness so another is elevated and esteemed.
It begins with choice, but everything begins with choice…
The choice to see,
The choice to act,
The choice to serve,
Yet most of us are too busy, depleted, and feeling hard done by, complaining about the stress of our own life and what we don’t have, instead of being grateful for what we do.
This in turn hardens our heart and forces us to strive, strive to fill our own cups, abandoning the very thing that Christ told us to do…love one another.
Agape.
Oh it’s not for the fainthearted, or for those of us wanting to live a life of convenience.
No loving others is inconvenient and difficult and requires sacrifice, which is why there’s so many of us who don’t love, we just ‘like’ well.
You see, the Holy Spirit prompts, swirls in the hearts of the willing and quietly whispers for action to take place.
And when we understand that this life isn’t about us anyway, that we are passing through, then we know that stepping out for another should actually be the way of living a normal life.
For Christ, he came not to be served, but to serve, and if Jesus can get his hands dirty and fill his nails with grime then why in the world can’t we?
We are talking about Jesus, the man who displayed the ultimate humility which drove him to death.
To the place where he took his life for you, for me, for us.
So why do we find it hard to express humility?
For loving others begins with humility.
The type of humility where serving is a cost, not a facebook status or instagram photo promoting ourselves.
Are we too proud?
Too busy?
Too blinded?
Or do we live in selfish decisions because actually rolling up our sleeves, is all too hard work and costly.
We have agendas to fulfill and ladders to climb.
What if climbing the ladder actually meant coming down a rung?
That lowly meant you’re living successfully.
The life where people from the outside who are looking in, scratch their heads and look puzzled because of the way we are living.
The counter cultural life, fighting against culture relentlessly, making the small change in the very place that God has strategically placed us.
Friends, everyday opportunities come before us to love others, truly love others well, the questions is…
