Have you ever felt displaced?
The type of feeling where you just don’t.quite.fit.in?
Oh, it may only be one degree of separation from those surrounding you, but that tearing is just enough to make you want to become invisible at times. A nagging feeling fills the pit of your stomach causing angst, you try to ignore the pull which brings you down…even if it’s just a little bit, but it lingers.
You might be in a room filled with people who you’ve known you’re whole life, yet the truth be known, they are strangers to you and you to them.
Or you hold the attention of those around you in social settings, oozing confidence, yet if you’re truthful, you’re the loneliest woman standing in front of others who would never suspect.
The lack of finding a home, a tribe, where you identify with others and they identify with you.
There are barriers, some you can’t express or put language to, as they are unintentional and others you have built which are blind spots in your life and work as a repellant towards those who attempt to connect with you. They barb and spike people and send them retreating quietly but quickly.
The girl who is willing to look at her blind spots by getting on her knees and asking God to reveal them, is the girl who reflects great courage and strength.
And if you’re really honest, you might fess up to being the servant girl who deliberately places a wedge between yourself and friends, as you use distance to protect your heart. You hate the thought of being displaced but what scares you even more… is to be deeply known by someone.
This breeds a cycle which spins around and around which contributes and heightens your feelings of not belonging, but isn’t that safer then being known?
For being known, seen and loved by another, runs at a risk of being hurt, for revealing your heart requires authenticity, and authenticity demands truth. And who in the world really wants to be truthful?
So you submit to fear and the enemy who brings it to you, permitting the lies to swirl around your mind, you listen to the snickers and believe the quiet whisper’s. You swallow the deceit like a pill which is digested deep within, and what we allow to be planted in our lives is manifested through thinking, behaviour and actions -it’s an outpouring.
You hear the word ‘courage’ and believe it’s for everyone else,
You hear about being ‘valued’ yet that’s for the girl next door,
You hear stories of others having their hearts healed, but that’s not for you, surely not?
Yet the truth is, you have been formed for relationship, connection and a joyous life.
Isn’t that why Jesus left the heavens and came to earth?
Isn’t that what Christianity is built on?
So I beg you friend, if you, like me, have felt displaced, than I pray, that you have the courage of a lion to rise and face the demons which keep you chained up, to rebuke the fear which wants to settle in your life, to smash the walls which keep you caged, to call out to the God of the Universe who leans in and hears the cries of his daughters, and live in friendships that are full of joy and satisfy the innate and very real feeling of needing a place to seen, heard, known and loved.
(photo by Tana Makmanee )