Ever Felt Displaced?

sept 2015

Have you ever felt displaced?

The type of feeling where you just don’t.quite.fit.in?

Oh, it may only be one degree of separation from those surrounding you, but that tearing is just enough to make you want to become invisible at times. A nagging feeling fills the pit of your stomach causing angst, you try to ignore the pull which brings you down…even if it’s just a little bit, but it lingers.

You might be in a room filled with people who you’ve known you’re whole life, yet the truth be known, they are strangers to you and you to them.

Or you hold the attention of those around you in social settings, oozing confidence, yet if you’re truthful, you’re the loneliest woman standing in front of others who would never suspect.

Misplaced.

The lack of finding a home, a tribe, where you identify with others and they identify with you.

There are barriers, some you can’t express or put language to, as they are unintentional and others you have built which are blind spots in your life and work as a repellant towards those who attempt to connect with you. They barb and spike people and send them retreating quietly but quickly.

The girl who is willing to look at her blind spots by getting on her knees and asking God to reveal them, is the girl who reflects great courage and strength.

And if you’re really honest, you might fess up to being the servant girl who deliberately places a wedge between yourself and friends, as you use distance to protect your heart. You hate the thought of being displaced but what scares you even more… is to be deeply known by someone.

This breeds a cycle which spins around and around which contributes and heightens your feelings of not belonging, but isn’t that safer then being known?

For being known, seen and loved by another, runs at a risk of being hurt, for revealing your heart requires authenticity, and authenticity demands truth. And who in the world really wants to be truthful?

So you submit to fear and the enemy who brings it to you, permitting the lies to swirl around your mind, you listen to the snickers and believe the quiet whisper’s. You swallow the deceit like a pill which is digested deep within, and what we allow to be planted in our lives is manifested through thinking, behaviour and actions -it’s an outpouring.

You hear the word ‘courage’ and believe it’s for everyone else,

You hear about being ‘valued’ yet that’s for the girl next door,

You hear stories of others having their hearts healed, but that’s not for you, surely not?

Yet the truth is, you have been formed for relationship, connection and a joyous life.

Isn’t that why Jesus left the heavens and came to earth?

Isn’t that what Christianity is built on?

Relationship.

So I beg you friend, if you, like me, have felt displaced, than I pray, that you have the courage of a lion to rise and face the demons which keep you chained up, to rebuke the fear which wants to settle in your life, to smash the walls which keep you caged, to call out to the God of the Universe who leans in and hears the cries of his daughters, and live in friendships that are full of joy and satisfy the innate and very real feeling of needing a place to seen, heard, known and loved.

(photo by Tana Makmanee )

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Ever Felt Displaced?

  1. Deep and challenging. So many of us find it so hard to trust and be vulnerable… May we be people are both open, and available to others who need to take baby steps in being vulnerable.

  2. Hannah girl I miss you soooooo much!!!! This message is a very special message to me, but in some small way I think you know that! I love you guys so much❤

    Sending hugs and a boat load of blessings
    Michelle❤❤❤

  3. Hannah girl!! You are my rock! Through reading “Ever Felt Displaced?” I come to realize that in that message is “ME” reading about oneself surely brings tears to my eyes, but as I read on I come to also realize that I AM a fighter, and I AM rising above the Demons, I just sometimes wish it didn’t take so much energy out of me. And some days I wish it was less of a struggle. Knowing who I am and being afraid to be that person has got to be the most painful feeling, a feeling that no one who’s not been there can ever understand, it’s like a hidden disease. I want to do so many things but I’m always afraid it won’t be right. I love to give, do things for people, not ordinary stuff, different things, like it’s Monday and I have a gift for you, but will they think I’m needy and want something in return or will they think she just likes attention. So I don’t be that person who gives, only do I give when everyone else does… Christmas, Birthday’s, etc. I’m asked to go out with the girls, I’m so excited they asked me to come, but when that day comes I cancel, I ask myself what will I talk about? I know the world to well, but I’m a Christian now, how will I fit in? or my Christian friends ask me to come join in on something and again I’m excited, someone wants me to come along, but I cancel the day of, I know the world to well and not sure if I can leave the worldly parts that I know so well out of the Christian life they know so well. To be really honest as I sit here thinking that if I hit the send button will the person on the other end of this think “This girl needs to stop whining, it’s all about her, get over yourself, attention seeker… I am going to hit the send button because it is Hannah Bryant on the other end and I truly believe she is the only person who won’t… I have also decided to fully engage in God’s word and your writings. I mean really truly know Him!!!

    Love you tonnes Hannah!!! Thank You for coming into my life Michelle xxoo

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s