I saw bravery last week when a set of blue eyes looked deep into mine, gazed straight at me and without a word spoke a million. Life had caused a harsh blow and winded my friend Alice, bruised her soul and made the world she lived in a little dimmer. Her pain ran deep, so deep that the gush she nurtured bled liquid red -her heart was in ruins. The debris scattered and she was madly trying to put the pieces back together believing that order would alleviate her pain. Yet part of her was angry, infuriated actually, as she felt her prayers had fallen on a deaf God when she had pleaded “No” and He said “Yes.”
Ever experienced that? Faced the opposite to what your prayers had uttered in the black of night?
Time has been spent begging for the complete opposite to what life is throwing you and you feel like you’re in quick sand, sinking at a rapid speed.
Fear not Servant Girl.
So what do you do when you feel like your expectations haven’t been met by God?
When you feel like the world is caving in and the darkness seems a little overbearing?
When your load is about to break you?
I’ve been there you know, in the place where you feel abandoned rather than embraced by the God of the Universe. Had thoughts that my ways were better than His, but that on reflection, is me living in a place of fear.
For when I abandon trust, I choose to pick up fear.
It takes courage to admit that, the same courage I saw in Alice. You see she had to place down her niceties next to the mask she admitted to wearing which was hiding the ‘real’ her as we sipped our lattes.
And I must admit, I’m as guilty as charged too, as wearing my mask is much easier at times, as it hides my ugly stories and the state of my heart. It protects me from the potential reaction I could receive if someone actually knew what I really thought or have really done or what I’m struggling with.
Another place where fear can slide in and settle…
So barriers stay erected as they are safe and life becomes predictable-easier really, but does that mean I’m allowing the potential judgement of others to imprison the person I actually am? Because what I’m saying, is that I’m more concerned about what they think, then the truth of my situation.
Vulnerability is for the brave hearted…
It is for the servant girl who wants to say “No” to hiding and “Yes” to showing her authentic self.
It’s for the woman who is willing to embrace who she is -warts and all, but she’s even stronger when she is willing to make changes to the warts so they live in her no longer.
You see God can start working on a heart that is willing to change, but a heart of stone, well who can reshape that?
My friend, when life is howling and your boat is on a rocky ocean and you feel one more wave will break you, fear not, for even in a raging storm peace can be felt.
When life has been unpredictable and the pain is raw and real, fall, fall, at the feet of Jesus and receive peace. Grab a hold of Him with both hands and relentlessly pursue His ways and trust, breathe deep and commit to the decision, regardless of the outcome.
For where trust lives, fear does not…
He sees you and He won’t let go- You’re far too loved for that.
Cling to Him with all your might and believe that you have not been forgotten, abandoned or left behind-for you are His precious daughter, His Servant Girl who can have her situation turned from hopeless to hope filled, regardless of where the journey takes you…