The Pastor I call Husband, sits on the side of our bed sipping his coffee, and me, mine. I’ve been ordered by my eight year old to stay in bed as “breakfast will be served shortly.” I hear Sunny in a neighbouring room practising his words “Appy, Appy, Appy Birfday Mom” as these days a stutter slows him down somewhat. My mama brings joy to our home as she blows balloons and makes my precious children laugh. Cards are gathered and a pajama party is about to take place in my bedroom.
Its my thirty-third birthday today, and the Pastor I call Husband takes the opportunity to speak goodness straight into my soul. We steal an intimate moment and he quietly compliments my character and fills my heart with his belief birthing new courage for my future. I look at him and for a split second, want to push back all his words of praise, as they are hard to receive. I actually had to make a conscious decision not to reject the words he was saying.
When people speak goodness into your heart, do you have the ability to receive their words by allowing them to strengthen your soul which helps you flourish into all you can be?
Or is your automatic response to shut them down so they fall like dust to the ground because you’re highly critical of yourself?
If we harness the attitude of constantly being self-critical, than we are imprisoning our emotions, feelings and potential by limiting who we can be in Christ. Our eyes are focusing on what we haven’t achieved or accomplished rather than rejoicing in the wins we have gained in life. We find ways to see our own faults and weaknesses which become highlighted in our mind.
This in turn, sends detrimental messages to our self, saying “We are never enough,” when the truth is, we actually are enough. We’ve just become blind sighted by the lies rather than allowing the truth to pierce through the darkness.
The enemy wants to keep us stagnant in becoming all we can be as Daughter’s in Christ. So he will pounce hungrily on our weaknesses and strike at any opportunity given, and what better way then starting with our internal thoughts.
Take every thought captive Servant Girl and give then to Jesus, for you are worth so much more the then words you use to beat yourself up with. The quiet thoughts which hold you back and mold your behaviour will stifle your God-given freedom should you allow it. Rise and take courage in the woman who is delighted in by her Heavenly Father.
For a problem arises when we don’t practise self kindness- “We can’t give people what we don’t have. Who we are matters immeasurably more than what we know or who we want to be.” Brene Brown
If we aren’t practising self kindness, then how in the world can we offer authentic kindness to others?
There is a gap in our understanding, which will hinder us from knowing how to truly express deep compassion when others need it, the block in our own life prevents us from showing a depth of kindness as we haven’t experienced it our self.
For what we don’t have, we can’t give…
Self kindness, starts with self compassion, harnessing the understanding that we all have inadequacies but that doesn’t lessen the person that Christ has created us to be.
The words we choose to use in our thinking, will shape the outcome of our action and behaviour which is why its crucial to understand and plant ourselves in God’s love.
This will abolish any self shame which breeds self-criticism…
“There is no room in love for fear. Well formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life – fear of death, fear of judgement – is one not yet fully formed in love.” The Message 1 John 4:18
Deepen yourself by forming your identity in Christ and take on the way He sees you and watch what happens…
So I finish by asking a simple question- Is your self esteem consistent with the way God sees you?