Get Out of my Marriage Third Wheel.

It was raining when I pulled over on the side of the road to call my girlfriend who I call ‘Gracie.’ I break down and begin to sob. I go to the most vulnerable place that hides within my heart and I share with her…

The following night a girlfriend who I call ‘My Monkey’ pursued me with a fierce love that shook my walls down-walls that had been built and firmly placed in my heart and used as a shield for over ten years. For she could see a pain in my eyes which related to the previous conversation I had with my girlfriend ‘Gracie.’ She steps into territory that is only for a brave sister.

It had been less than 24 hours since The Pastor I call Husband, and I, had discussed one of the most difficult topics that can be talked about inside a marriage-a third wheel.

You see over the years I have had unwanted conversations with other women who have confessed about having feelings for my husband. I applaud their courage and thank them dearly that they were brave enough to abandon these emotions and work through them.

There have also been other friends who have spoken quietly to me, cautioning me about seeing a glint in another woman’s eye when relating to my man.

Or I, a woman myself have noticed body language and attention given to my husband by another and have warned him in the privacy of our relationship.

The Pastor I call Husband, is by no means a man who flirts with danger or inappropriate boundaries, but is a man who is gentle in nature, a man who is quiet yet has a strength that is admirable, has compassionate blue eyes when one is sharing a hard story and has a genuine love for people around him. I by no means question his integrity in this matter. As you only have to see the way he looks at me, his wife, to know where his affection lays and who has captured and owns his heart.

This is a very real issue for women and I write with a gentle heart. For I too have been married for almost thirteen years and have endured hard seasons of marriage-I do not, and will not cast a stone-for that would be hypocritical.

We Servant Girls must have an ’emotional radar’ switched on, detecting our feelings at all times. We must have enough self insight to know the areas of our life that aren’t being fulfilled by our own husbands and not use others to fill them.

Marriage is sacred and only has room for two.

blog march 3

Are you showing affection to a man who is not your own?

I get that infatuation is fun, it makes your heart race and keeps you awake at night thinking about him, but control your thoughts sisters, cut the ties and don’t ruin the lives of those around you.

For love is jealous and fierce and should be protected at all costs.

If you have made promises to another, honor them. You chose to make them in the first place.

Don’t be that woman dressed seductively with a sly heart using flattery to entice a man who is bound to another woman.

For Proverbs 8:26 talks about the immoral woman and says; “For she has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims. Her house is the road to the grave. Her bedroom is the den of death.”

Marriage is sacred and holy ground that we need to respect and honor-keep your distance if need be.

I understand that we as women have a desire to be nurtured, cherished, understood, held, listened to and loved-loved with an intimacy that gives us strength to face the world on a daily basis. But if the man doesn’t wear your wedding band, then he is not the one who should be filling your empty tank. He is not the guy who should be filling your emotional or sexual needs.

Marriage is not for the faint hearted but for those with a relentless desire to fight for love.

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