Containing Complaining…eek!

Today sees a typical morning where I roll out of bed, splash water on my face, place my gym gear on, get kids ready for school and run out the door at 9am.

I enter the child minding room at the gym and am greeted by one of the workers who I have ‘struck up’ a friendship with.

She asked “How I am?” out of politeness so I responded truthfully which made her eyes widen.

“Well” I hear myself say, “Today I am taking a twenty one day challenge as I believe it takes this amount of time to change behaviour. I am a complainer and it’s day one of me stopping this negative approach to life.” She looked at me and whispered “I am too.” So we are taking the challenge together.

I am making an effort, a choice, to sow goodness into each moment that is presented to me. I know I will stumble, but it’s better to be in the arena fighting a battle that will bring character change then living in complacency.

nov 21

Do you find it easy to slip into the mode of complaining?

To find fault in everything and everyone?

To focus on the bad instead of the good?

Out of habit we hear our self sowing death into a situation instead of feeding it with life.

“Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that you can become blameless and pure children of God, without fault in a crooked and depraved generation.” Philippians 2:14-15

The words that tumble out of our mouth are a symptom of what’s hiding in our heart. It shows what state it’s in and what’s breeding internally.

For didn’t Jesus say…”For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things, out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things from the evil stored up in him. But I tell you man will have to give an account on the day of judgement for every careless word he has spoken.” Matthew 12:34-36

nov 21 2

We seem to be bent towards negativity. We see holes in people’s character instead of focusing on what they do best.

Dissect social situations and announce what we would have done better.

Complain about expectations not being met,

Whine when our needs aren’t met first in our marriage, friendships, workplace environment etc.

Complain, complain, complain.

It can be so subtle as it creeps into our mind and settles in our spirit.

The effect snowballs into our actions, our reactions and outlook on life.

Let me ask you this. “Have you ever met a joy filled complainer?”

The two just don’t mix.

Wives, women who are engaged, sister’s who haven’t found Mr Right but are preparing themselves one day for marriage, can I humbly remind you (and me) what Proverbs 21:19 says.

“It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.”

Did that sting? Yeah me too. I’m sure some of our male friends who read Ashes to Beauty just gave a loud “Amen.”

If we want to mess up our marriage, create a wedge which leads to our spouse being distant then complain away. It train wrecks relationship’s.

I know there is nothing more detrimental I can bring into my marriage with the Pastor I call Husband then to nit pick him. To zero in and whine about what he hasn’t done or criticise what He has achieved.

Lets not be pessimistic or opposing servant girls, but rather women who affirm and cheer our men on.

nov 21 3

If you battle with complaining then I ask you to be daring enough to ask yourself some hard questions.

To do self work and find the core root of your negativity. To get real, dig deep until you find the place of revelation, as that’s when transformation can start.

We are all a work in progress, don’t hide behind shame but be bold and start making steps to a greater you. A you that doesn’t complain.

1. Do you naturally speak words that edify others?
2.What type of words do you tend to use on a daily basis?
3.If you tend to complain, what steps can you be making to stop this?


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