Porn and Addiction

“There are few things I am more passionate about than seeing women freed from the shame and stronghold of porn and sexual addiction. Why? Because I was once a teenaged turned college girl addicted to pornography. I personally and intimately understand the shame and isolation of this addiction.” writes Crystal Renaud Founder and Executive Director of WHOLE Women Ministry.

Sex addiction is on the rise with it afflicting between 3%-6% of the population.” said Dr Patrick Carnes, Executive Director of the Gentle Path program at Pine Grove Behavioral Center in Hattiesburg, Mississippi USA.

“Women usually don’t seek help until something has happened, some kind of unacceptable consequence. Profound shame keeps women from seeking help in the same proportion as men.” comments Penny Lawson on National Post 5/1/2012

Shame has an incredible ability to keep us silent and bound to a vicious cycle that repeats itself over and over again, especially in addiction.

“Addiction is defined by cravings — an increased “hunger” for drugs or rewarding experiences — and an inability to stop the behaviour despite devastating consequences.” American Society of Addiction Medicine

This is a tender subject, one that I address with respect. I write Ashes to Beauty to embrace women around the world who are in different life stages. You see the worst thing we can do as Servant Girls is shake our heads at one another and cast judgement. This only keeps struggles locked up and hidden. This community is a safe place, where I pray for you to find courage and hear God whisper so your life is challenged, changed by Him for Him and we help each other along the way to grow in greatness and His likeness.

So when we act out, give in to temptation that controls behaviour, when we recognise the poison but don’t know how to combat it, understand we have help should we want it.

A choice needs to be made and the decision starts with You.

We have to get to a point where we despise our behaviour and the stronghold so much, that we crave change and pursue it with gusto.

We need to abandon excuses and stop giving our self permission.

Pine for the type of change where we take on the hard work, determination, prayer, vulnerability, speaking the truth, professional help, finding a support network and cling to the God of the universe.

If we continue on the isolating path of addiction then we are engaging life with shame, because shame is what normally keeps us there.

We give in time and time again saying ‘Yes’ and then once it’s done, it settles quietly in the darkest place of our heart and continues to brews.

Guilt sets in and remorse felt deeply, yet we ask our self “Who in the world would accept me if I exposed my secret?”

Instead of bringing it to light we bury it deep within. A place where breeding occurs and the trap is set.

The weight of shame sits heavily on our shoulders, sucking joy out of our soul. The burden shifts awkwardly as we try to shake it off. The feeling of freedom seems to be something that we hear about rather than personally encountering.

Or could it be for me? You daringly ask.

The truth is, we need to learn to forgive our self during this journey. To give our self full permission to abandon our mistakes as they are moments where we learn more about who we are.

Do we give in and stay a victim?

Or rise in a supernatural strength that is given through the Holy Spirit and conquer the unimaginable?

We all sin, fall short of glory, but a man named Jesus was nailed to a rugged cross for you. The God of the universe pursues you with His love and abounding grace that gives hope to any situation, your situation.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, where your feet have trodden, fresh forgiveness awaits you. Some of us need to hear those words in this moment.

But overcoming sex addiction, any addiction, starts by reaching out and admitting that there is a problem. Working on negative core beliefs, understanding yourself and who you are in Christ.

If you feel that you need help, then be bold sister. You are a beautiful creation that is cherished by our God.

Here are a few signs that suggest if you have fallen into addiction. My reference is from MedicineNet.com

A need for more amount or intensity of behavior to achieve the desired effect (tolerance)

Physical or psychological feelings of withdrawal when unable to engage in the addictive behavior.

The person making plans for, engaging in, or recovering from the behavior more or longer than planned.

Desire or unsuccessful attempts to decrease or stop the behavior.

Neglecting important social, work, or school activities because of the behavior.

Continuing the behavior despite suffering physical or psychological problems because of or worsened by the sexual behavior.

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One thought on “Porn and Addiction

  1. Hannah, wise words to those struggling with the shame of the whatevers in their life. so glad you mentioned the important support of a group of others in helping one face the dark and struggling parts of their life. groups give friendship, a listening ear, love, acceptance, understanding, accountability and courage to face the truth so that one can begin a new normal

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