Little Loxley

She’s the girl who was known to design wedding dresses. Deemed one of the best in the land down under. The media snapping up photos of current looks as actors wore laced garments designed by Clarissa Grace.



The friend who put a sum of money in an envelope and told me to buy new clothes after she heard a Producer call me a “tramp” on set one day. The television world ruthless and harsh.

She’s the one who wears a tattoo on her left wrist with the name of her little boy who graced the earth for a short amount of time. His name Loxley.

I was on vacation when a text came through pleading for prayer. A mama’s heart had been split right open, cracked to the core creating wounds deep. A heart problem in this precious baby was causing serious concern and he is now laying still in a hospital crib fighting for life. The clock ticked, his mama and father staying close, thousands of words from those near and far uttered prayers, pleading God to spare his life. Words formed in the shape of healing and miracle-it didn’t come.


loxley 2


Each day updates beeped on my cell, the road long, separating this precious family and the Bryant’s. We were fourteen hours north of Sydney. There was nothing to think about. We packed our bags and headed home.

The unexpected happened and I gasped with disbelief as I read words. Her father had passed away overnight. The shock gripping as grief fell like a thick black cloud consuming her already raw heart.

She stayed by the cot of her baby boy. The Doctors warning that his days were limited and who knew when he was going to slip into eternity, she sadly missed her father’s funeral.

Where is God amongst pain?

Where is promised love and peace when the world slowly loses it colour? What was once flamboyant and alive is now grey and dim.

When Doctors speak cancer over you, or your spouse tells you about another and promises of faithfulness have been broken. Your financial decisions have been costly and the investment which promised to be lucrative leaves you with nothing. Your children who you prayed for countless times are making poor decisions and Jesus is a man they heard about growing up. He has no place in the current stage of life and you yell out with pain, asking God where in the world did you go wrong?

A servant girl on her knees, broken and weary can be restored. In frailty her words whisper pleas for help to a God who never sleeps. He lovingly leans in and bottles her tears.

He’s the father who is slow to anger and abounding in love. Seeing His goodness in storms is a challenge, yet when a courageous servant girl digs, scraping away the dirt and grime of this world then something worth more than rubies is discovered. When she searches relentlessly and pursues the God of wonders He graciously shows himself. Reveals in unexpected ways. Through gentle words of another, prayers by those quietly sitting in the wings, selfless actions of a sister, scripture which nourishes the soul or the Holy Spirit who dwells richly penetrating the darkest place providing rest and reassurance.

You see, our God isn’t distant but says he will never ever leave nor forsake you.

Abandonment may ring loud and speak lies moulding self-esteem. Words are more likes scars worn internally…useless, inferior, stupid, worthless- the list is endless.

Will you allow His truth to prevail?

To restore and guard you?

Clothe yourself with His promises and use them as an armour as you fight battles. Take a deep breath and trust that His ways are sovereign even when circumstances don’t make sense. God is good all of the time.

Can you say it?

God is good all of the time.

“We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

Lift your eyes friend, set them firm on Him and allow His ways to bring hope.


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