I could see the hurt in her eyes which I had caused. My heart deeply touched and saddened that I didn’t meet her expectations. She is a lady much older than myself and she had so graciously invited the Pastor I call Husband and I over for dinner.
Her invite sat in my voice mail for weeks. As time went on I forgot about returning her phone call as I was wrapped up in the chaos of life, ministry, children and a full schedule-The juggling act.
The opportunity for a conversation opened up with her. The only thing I could do was humbly apologise, leave excuses out and listen to the way she felt. I sought forgiveness as her eyes welled with tears and I felt at a loss when the conversation was over.
How in the world do you juggle fair or unfair expectations placed on you?
Your eyes open in the mornings and demands are placed on you instantly. E-mails have unwritten responses, cell phone’s have messages, the home phone rings, work has deadlines, children cry, your spouse asks for assistance, the washing piling up needs to be done, the housework completed, empty fridges plead to be replenished, and ‘To Do’ lists sit silently. People and tasks beg for responses and your immediate attention.
Society has pushed and pressured servant girls to live at a fast pace. The escape to a slower life seems to be blocked and spoken about rather than a reality.
Living as a “Martha” is more accepted and expected in our current culture. “Mary’s” are seen as lazy and self-absorbed who abandon Heavenly conviction. The critical tongue of outsiders wag with presumption falsely accusing those living in balance.
A life lived in equilibrium is achieved when a follower says ‘Yes’ to the nudges of God not the demands of man.
There will always be a need in ministry, holes in the workplace and spaces in the mundane of life asking you to fill it. If your boundaries are blurred and your load becomes too heavy then you spread yourself too thinly and don’t give your best to anything. You simply can’t.
Commitments get half-hearted responses when they deserve a hundred percent.
What if you filled a gap that wasn’t designed for your shape? You saying ‘Yes’ out of guilt or insecurity just may hinder the person who was intended by God for that very position. Instead it’s being occupied by a head nodding ‘Yes’ and a heart saying ‘No.’
As you take on more and more the juggling act becomes compromised.
Fatigue sets in and places guilt on a servant girl’s heart as she strives to keep everything in perpetual motion. The balls rotating in the air places unfair strain on her life-round and round the cycle spins until exhaustion consumes her weary bones and a ball is dropped. She deems herself a failure rather than seeing her load too heavy to begin with.
Her heart becomes downcast and lies whisper ‘incompetence’ when the truth is she’s playing the role of a martyr.
Guilt free balance is to be called forth from all women.
A lowering of expectation on self is living a radical existence.
Exercising choice, praying carefully about priorities and God’s leading essential for where your time is spent. Dwell in His wisdom, spend time seeking His ways. Answers are found in Him as He laces willing hearts with conviction. He walks before His daughters preparing paths which are uniquely paved for His intention. His prompting navigates your calling and His discernment given to guide you to where you are needed.
Rest in Him. selah
What do you need to say ‘No’ to in order to say ‘Yes?’