Your Conviction or Theirs?

I could see the hurt in her eyes which I had caused. My heart deeply touched and saddened that I didn’t meet her expectations. She is a lady much older than myself and she had so graciously invited the Pastor I call Husband and I over for dinner.
Her invite sat in my voice mail for weeks. As time went on I forgot about returning her phone call as I was wrapped up in the chaos of life, ministry, children and a full schedule-The juggling act.

The opportunity for a conversation opened up with her. The only thing I could do was humbly apologise, leave excuses out and listen to the way she felt. I sought forgiveness as her eyes welled with tears and I felt at a loss when the conversation was over.

How in the world do you juggle fair or unfair expectations placed on you?

Your eyes open in the mornings and demands are placed on you instantly. E-mails have unwritten responses, cell phone’s have messages, the home phone rings, work has deadlines, children cry, your spouse asks for assistance, the washing piling up needs to be done, the housework completed, empty fridges plead to be replenished, and ‘To Do’ lists sit silently. People and tasks beg for responses and your immediate attention.

Society has pushed and pressured servant girls to live at a fast pace. The escape to a slower life seems to be blocked and spoken about rather than a reality.


Living as a “Martha” is more accepted and expected in our current culture. “Mary’s” are seen as lazy and self-absorbed who abandon Heavenly conviction. The critical tongue of outsiders wag with presumption falsely accusing those living in balance.

A life lived in equilibrium is achieved when a follower says ‘Yes’ to the nudges of God not the demands of man.

There will always be a need in ministry, holes in the workplace and spaces in the mundane of life asking you to fill it. If your boundaries are blurred and your load becomes too heavy then you spread yourself too thinly and don’t give your best to anything. You simply can’t.

Commitments get half-hearted responses when they deserve a hundred percent.

Source: via Kat on Pinterest


What if you filled a gap that wasn’t designed for your shape? You saying ‘Yes’ out of guilt or insecurity just may hinder the person who was intended by God for that very position. Instead it’s being occupied by a head nodding ‘Yes’ and a heart saying ‘No.’

As you take on more and more the juggling act becomes compromised.

Fatigue sets in and places guilt on a servant girl’s heart as she strives to keep everything in perpetual motion. The balls rotating in the air places unfair strain on her life-round and round the cycle spins until exhaustion consumes her weary bones and a ball is dropped. She deems herself a failure rather than seeing her load too heavy to begin with.

Her heart becomes downcast and lies whisper ‘incompetence’ when the truth is she’s playing the role of a martyr.


Guilt free balance is to be called forth from all women.

A lowering of expectation on self is living a radical existence.

Exercising choice, praying carefully about priorities and God’s leading essential for where your time is spent. Dwell in His wisdom, spend time seeking His ways. Answers are found in Him as He laces willing hearts with conviction. He walks before His daughters preparing paths which are uniquely paved for His intention. His prompting navigates your calling and His discernment given to guide you to where you are needed.

Rest in Him. selah


What do you need to say ‘No’ to in order to say ‘Yes?’


8 thoughts on “Your Conviction or Theirs?

  1. Thanks Hannah. I enjoyed the ” guilt-free balance” phrase. Every woman deals with this in their own way. Wouldn’t it be great if women could just accept each other’s interpretation of balance in the same way that God does? Nice seeing you today….

    • Dear Anne, Yes to what you wrote! That’s when we as women can lay down expectations of each other and rest in the way we’ve been created! Thankyou for your time in reading Ashes to Beauty-a gift!

  2. It’s so easy to fall into the hands of ‘yes’ just to gain acceptance. But there is amazing peace when you find that balance!

  3. I saw the meaning of the word GRACE by watching you and AB open your door to so many who are in need of tea, a prayer, a kind ear or a hug. You do amazing work but you cannot help everyone. Like you expressed in this entry, sometimes saying No to someone is saying Yes to yourself.

    Even before I read this blog I knew that you are challenged with this. That’s why I’ve been quiet & absent. I am not in need, but I worry if you are receiving the time and support that you need to keep up this pace. Please remember that I am here for anything you need.

    I know you are busy at your important work. You are in my thoughts and prayers dear friend. I will be forever grateful for the role you played in pulling me out of my shell, out of my door and into the light. Love Dan Dan.

  4. Wow, this post spoke to exactly what I am going through and what I have gone through. From waking up in the morning having demands placed on me with my spouse asking for assistance, work, home, To do lists, etc. These things got me to a place where I was really overwhelmed.

    I’m in a place of trying to say yes to the nudges of God! I am actually hungry for more of him! It’s something I can’t explain. I feel there is a hole within me because I feel like not only there are holes in the workplace but holes within me because I have spread myself way to thin. I never thought that anyone could ever really put into words how I felt.

    I haven’t prayed about the priorities and sought God for his leading where I need to spend my time whether it is my getting up early in the morning before everyone else awakes or seek him at night. The bottom line is I need to spend time with Him. I miss Him due to my load and I’m feeling it. I’ve always heard about resting in Him. Can you explain how that looks. What does it really mean to rest in Him?

    Thanks Hannah!

    • Wow Friend, you ask a great question about resting in Christ! I too am on that journey. For me in the midst of chaos of life I find myself seeking “Sabbath moments” throughout my day where I stop for a few minutes,open my bible and read 2-3 verses and allow them to consume my mind as I change diapers, run errands, minister to others etc.
      I try to chat with God all day. Just thinking about Him, praying, asking for discernment for matters, praising etc. It has to be natural as he is relational.
      He is understanding and slow to anger-remember. The enemy will want to make us feel guilty-telling us our time with our Father is never enough!
      If you have any ideas then please also share them:) Sisterhood is a journey!
      Bless Bless Bless you!

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