It was the afternoon I pushed the accelerator hard to the floor in the parking lot to speed off. Me trying to make a point and verbalize anger. Stones flicking, tires turning and heart beating fast. There wasn’t a person watching, but I know deep down that I always have an audience of one seeing that which is visual to the eye and that which is hidden within.
The car hugged the road as I went around bends, my hands gripped tightly around the steering wheel. Thoughts flooded my mind-its amazing how quickly one can spiral if unhealthy thinking patterns aren’t taken captive.
I allow myself to pull the layers back to reveal the root of my emotion. I was ready to point the finger and blame at the one who had stirred this girls heart. That’s when I’m caught off guard to the promptings and the guidance to that which is greater than myself. To the one I profess to love and live for. The God that is all powerful and knowing leans into His creation and whispers six words that are simple yet deeply impacting
“You’ve forgotten how to speak goodness.”
My mind stops thinking about the previous situation and reflects on the conviction felt.
I sit in the moment and come to the realisation that He, my Father in heaven is right.
It’s time for me to start making different choices and start remembering gratitude. To count my daily blessings and number them one by one. To live in unhurried moments that amount to big chunks of time creating memories that last a life. To see the best in all situations regardless of what the day unfolds. There is always something to be grateful for, even in the hard of hardest circumstances. It’s been a challenge set before me by A. Voskamp
I start to dig, finding it tough at the beginning but I know training the mind and breaking old patterns to create new ones takes discipline, hard work and a strength beyond my own.
It’s a form of cremating the old self in order to find new life…
I number my blessings in my mind as I walk through my day. I speak life into situations and as I sow, I reap. The rich blessing of being filled with thankfulness overflows forming unspeakable joy within my soul. Eyes are taken off self and placed onto others and Him, the one who gives it all.
A Father who loves his children and wants them to reach their potential takes open opportunities like this one to press in harder.
He nudges me with a question “What defiles your character Hannah? Whatever you’re doing good or bad is a direct representation of me. You proclaim to love me, can others see that in all you do?”
The search of self continues…
I know that whatever is in my heart will come out of my mouth and present itself in action and deed.
The question is begging to be asked and prompted by the weekends sermon. Am I serving in the name of Jesus giving my left overs and being flippant? Or am I serving as though I’m serving Jesus himself and bringing my best in all I do?
I must edify the King who sits on the throne and the first strategy in doing this, is to choose to do it right now…