The Pastor I call Husband is laying on the couch. He’s only been resting a minute when she runs into the room and jumps up onto his belly. He tickles her and she squeals with delight. Her words saying to stop yet her blue eyes pleading for more. She has no inhibition or caution as their worlds collide. She knows that he is always accepting and filled with an unconditional love. He is her resting place. His arms safe and strong as they wrap around her six year old frame. She plays with him and I hear her giggle again. Her jokes start a ‘make believe game’ and all of a sudden they are lost in a beautiful place that no one else can enter- the invitation is just for two.
I watch with a heart full of gratitude at the way the Pastor I call Husband loves his daughter, yet part of me yearns to have the same audacity when entering into time with my Father in Heaven. I know the Psalmist writes that He himself, the Lord of all creation watches over me. He is constantly shielding me with protection and showering me in love.
So why do I have days when I check a list in my mind’s eye before interacting and meeting my Father? Why is it that I feel better when my list is short with mistakes and long with ‘righteous deeds?’
I tell myself that I’m mocking His promises, simply confess and ask for forgiveness I remind myself.
1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.” (NLV)
The burden that weighs heavily on my fragile shoulders becomes lighter.
The shame of my errors has kept me in a place of bondage. I had allowed the lies of the enemy to replace the truth-I worship a God who adores me even with my tainted areas.
His mercy and forgiveness pours into my soul allowing it to be flooded with light and freedom…
The Spirit of the Lord brings liberty…it dances with joy in a heart that is wide open to receiving it.
Yet with the same conviction I know I need to make decisions to be deliberate in not engaging in the same mistakes. They are spots in life where learning is crucial and grace not taken for granted.
1 John 1:5 This is the message he has given to announce to you: God is light and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness. (NLT)
The nails were driven in hard and deep…I must always remember
My six year old daughter has taught me a lesson. I must go to my Heavenly Father with an expectation that I will be received and taken to a place where the invite is just for two. I can hear His voice gently say…”Come here!”