It’s Nothing Personal…

What’s the matter?” “Nothing” I say with a harsh tone…silence lingers.

I sip my coffee to swallow the lump burning in my throat.
Hadn’t I only just stood in front of a body of believers confessing my sin of complaining? How could I launch into my “constructive criticism.”
The clock ticks…”I’m frustrated” I finally say. I wore my pastor’s wife mask today as I received compliment after compliment about you- The Pastor I call Husband.

I hear the voices of praise echoing loudly about the words he preached from the platform.

I look straight into blue eyes…”I feel the focus is in the wrong place” I blurt out.

“Yes the music was great, yes your sermon was wonderful but what about the unseen things that should be celebrated. The invisible moments when lives are being transformed because of great courage and faith.”

Aren’t the important things done in quietness…when hands are open and minds stilled to receive instruction and promptings from the Holy Spirit.

A Christ centred life living for His Glory is the most attractive attribute one can have…It’s in those moments a life flourishes with intended meaning.

Mouths typically move with opinions when the obvious is seen, but what about the mother who holds the fort at home providing opportunity for her husband to go the extra mile. She places her feet on the cold floor each morning with a God given strength because she knows the importance of raising disciples…The children entrusted to her provide motivation to complete the mundane chores with a sense of gratitude… The toilet brush swirls, the endless loads of washing removing daily grime, nightly dinners cooked to provide nourishment, the daily cycle spins around and around…
Or the widow placing her hand in the offering bag giving her best even though it hurts…
The professional who is the last to leave the office because integrity counts…
A noble woman knows that her soul food only comes from above and the unseen is always seen…
Her Father in heaven recreating and shaping constantly so she can touch and mould lives. There’s an understanding stemmed out of spiritual maturity that a daily dying to self is an art of surrendering to the King.

My passion burns and a deep hunger to serve Christ yearns…Words fly around my mind.
I try to continue but can’t…I rise from the couch to leave the conversation but his gentleness persists…
I stop “I’m grateful for the hundreds of people who rose today seeking forgiveness but isn’t Christianity and expression of our daily lives not a weekly injection felt on a Sunday after a good sermon?”

“Isn’t change about a deliberate decision to forsake the sin in order to find God. If we don’t transform ourselves then were those moments in church wasted? Emotion shouldn’t dictate but the craving to be moulded in His image should… “

To experience Christ is to rebuke a mediocre life and live with an eternal passion.

The spirit within living expectantly to hear God whispers and then to act accordingly..

Being intune and instep with the Holy Spirit allows one to live in freedom.

Our conversation continues and he provides great insight into the burdens I feel. His words of wisdom the greatest sermon preached…
“Maybe I should have stood today for judging not complaining” I say. No words needed to be exchanged, he knows my heart is to see people living with joy, freedom and purpose. I guess passion for God sometimes makes me stand back and ask the hard questions, it also requires me to evaluate my heart. 

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