Self Fed…

I’m starving, the soul is parched and is longing to be refilled by the water that nourishes and brings back to life. I have felt weak for days, yet the mind fills itself with ‘things to do’ rather than resting in Him. My actions win and I continue to accomplish the daily tasks yet the fatigue is heavy, weighing down the spirit which is longing for His touch found in solitude.

 I collapse in tiredness as I have been relying on self. I am unable to sustain the pace and meet the demands as my energy is growing faint. I have fallen into a slumber and need to be awakened. The ears have become deaf to His still voice as the mind is in chaos and clouded with misjudgment.

How do I hear Him in noise and confusion?

How does an empty vessel give?

The spirit has self fed and found itself malnourished. The daily manna that should be collected by sitting in His presence in quietness and discipline has been wasted due to the choice of busyness.

 What saddens me is the eternal opportunities that have gone to waste because I wasn’t attuned. My lips must repent and start moving again in prayer. It’s in this moment I know His grace makes a pathway through the wilderness so I can return to His throne room. My heart needs to be transformed so passion and conviction rise. His unfailing love rushes in like a wind storm. He has called me by name and I am His. Yet I still feel ashamed that I have not been responding to His voice calling uniquely. His crimson red washes over iniquities that double when I neglect to invest into the God I call Father. His words remind me…

“When I go through deep waters and great trouble, He will be with me. When I go through rivers of difficulty, I will not drown. When I walk through the fire of oppression I will not be burned up; the flames will not consume me.”

He is a God that burns with passion for His children and sits waiting for the lost soul to return. He pursues because He cares and loves beyond understanding. The challenge for me is to make daily time and lay my excuses down, so my deaf ears hear and blind eyes see spiritually. Tomorrow is a gift and new opportunities will be given. I must make the time to refresh myself in Him so I don’t miss a thing…will you join me?


3 thoughts on “Self Fed…

  1. I soooooooo understand where you are sister. I have been struggling with the same issue. I must and have been saying no to the busyness I allow myself to get into. I might be all “good” things but the BETTER is to sit and listen to my Creator the one who knows me best and knows what is best for me. Make time to sit and be still. You will certainly be the better for it. Love you Hann

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