What’s First?

He stands on the stage after being moved by the words he just bellowed out beside me. His voice had sung with passion as he lifted holy hands praising our Heavenly Father. He’s the man that connected deeply with my Pastor Husband on the other end of the phone almost twelve months ago. The undeniable bond of brotherhood and friendship began in their first conversation. How I rejoice and thank the Lord for our running partner in life. He and his wife lead our church yet they mean so much more than that to me…

His integrity and love spills out as he speaks with conviction and passion. I swallow hard as he talks about the heart and how it’s prone to wander

A chord is struck

I had only been on the pavement earlier that morning, sweat beating down, panting and running thinking of my chance on this crazy planet called earth. When the alarm clock sounds and my feet hit the ground do I live like there is no tomorrow I asked myself, or do I give my heart permission to wander? The mind was circling with answers as I pondered the question…

I examine my character as I take the bread and drink the wine thanking the Man that came to save. His presence gently convicts and I feel the splash of tears cascading. My heart has wandered and searched for injections of happiness, my tongue has whipped and lashed out causing harm, my mind has filled itself with poison and I feel the ripple effect within my spirit. I have ceased seeking the Kingdom first and I have forgotten…

Forgotten patience

Forgotten to love

Forgotten humility

The ramifications are harsh and ugly. It causes chaos and mess in the heart which spills out in action and deed. It manifests destroying the beauty that hides within and blinds people to see the goodness, it pollutes the character and brings harm to those around. It’s a cause and effect type reaction-something that I must regain control over once again.

The heart has a God shaped hole that only His presence can fill. The presence that allows deep joy, deep happiness and a deep peace. It’s an easy road trying to fill that gap in other places, yet experience reminds me that road is always a dead end

God first put us into His heart, so does He have individual shapes with all our names on it?

A place with your name scribed that gives purpose and a destiny

There’s always something trying to wrestle me, pulling my focus away from that which I should be seeking first-His Kingdom

 If it has permission, it stays, if I fight, it retracts.

God knew what He was saying when He reminded me to pick up my cross daily.

It’s a deliberate decision to act upon His wisdom and seek His Kingdom first. What a great prompt to love the act of discipline to provide the space for God to whisper His message first…











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