My Little Sunny…

Her blue eyes sparkle as she looks adoringly at her little brother…he’s three today. Squeals of laughter fill the air as presents are opened and his new ball bounces. Eggs cook, bread rises and sibling love makes a house a home. I rejoice with thanksgiving…

His life called a miracle…He fought the odds in my womb when nurses spoke of miscarriage in his early weeks of formation. God’s strong hand held him as he crafted and shaped, his days ordained and filled with purpose…I rejoice with thanksgiving…

 

I gazed at the infant lying on my chest, he was born into love and recognized as a gift from above, the babe we called Lawson Gair Bryant. God bent down, listened and prayers answered…I rejoice with thanksgiving

 

Visitors came to meet him in hospital on a cold July afternoon. Cuddles and adoration were being poured out when he choked on amniotic fluid, the color of life drained and breathing stopped…did I believe that his life was ordained then, when in a split second it was being taken away from me? In that dark moment of screaming at my blue limp baby in arms being whisked away tearing my mothers heart apart, that he, the God I call father was bending down listening to my cries again for my baby’s life?

 

Doctors provide oxygen and life is restored…In a sobering moment I realize the vulnerability of life and our purpose to live for all of eternity. This time I whisper my thanksgiving…

I tightly grip to protect his life…shingles appear on my spine- the nerves too much and my body reacts. I cry hard as I don’t want to release him to his maker, I fail to trust. Days pass and struggles continue, gratitude low but love overwhelming.

He’s failing to thrive I hear the Doctor say, and somewhere deep this resinates with me… aren’t we all?A tube is placed in his nose which lasts for 8 months…nourishment came in a different form. God’s creative in the way he provides sustenance.

 

Through dark days of grief and fatigue I fall to my knees… bending down, to listen and pray. The gentle father who saw my sons unformed body before the beginning of time speaks straight into my spirit and I begin to trust. Fingers that gripped control open one by one and I start to breathe deep as I release him back to his maker. Peace that transcends all understanding washes the wounds within my mothers heart bringing healing and comfort, and with eyes lifted I rejoice with thanksgiving.

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